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Self-love is defined as a regard for one’s own well-being and happiness (Thank you Google!). But I do have a pretty good idea of what self-love is. I have been down numerous Pinterest black holes with inspirational quotes about self-love, affirmations and life lessons. It’s also the number #1 tip in almost every self-help book that I read. Nonetheless knowing is a lot different from doing. I also know how to run but do I actually do it, probably not as much as I should. So why is it easier to love everyone else before loving ourselves?
As women we can easily be managing multiple things at once, whether its work, being a mom, cooking, cleaning etc, the to do list can be ever-growing (I know mine is). But the one thing that is usually missing from our to do list is ourselves. Putting ourselves on that priority list daily is super important! This obligates you to make time to really stop and focus on what it is that you need. Take this time to do something that makes you smile and live in that moment as long as you can. You deserve that!
Bottom line if you want anyone to love you, then you have to start by loving yourself first. The same way you love your family and friends unconditionally. The same way you encourage and motivate them. You are worthy of the same love and support you give out.
Sharing my journey is really important to me because I want to help women out there that may have similar frustrations and help them prioritize themselves more. I have come along way, and I am at a point in my life where I love my self, I know my self-worth and the world is my oyster. In other words I am in a good place and I want to help you get there too.
My Journey in a nutshell
Being more aware of my life and how I wanted to live it really started after I graduated from college. Graduating with my BBA as a wife, mother of 3 and finding a job shortly after I graduated was a huge accomplishment for me.
I no longer had to pull an all-nighter for a test I didn’t feel ready for or stay on campus for more than 12 hours for student events. It felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. I had so much free time on my hands and my mind was able to focus on other things instead of just school work.
But I quickly got into the corporate world rhythm of working during the week and doing very minimal on the weekends. Granted I went to school for what felt like forever and this was the first time in a long time that I had nothing to do after 5pm and the weekends. My goals at that time were finding the best adult friendly places to have day dates and the best taco spots. Results, there are a lot of good taco spots in Houston 😅😋.
I knew I had to make a change in my life when we started spending more money than we were making. I wasn’t saving, I wasn’t improving and more importantly I wasn’t progressing. My husband and I began to focus on paying our debt down and becoming financially free to be able to use our money for things that really mattered to us. That meant living more frugally and cutting back on things like happy hour. Instead I focused on things that improved my lifestyle and my mood.
Even though I am in a better place mentally, I STILL have a ton of learning and growing to do but I am very happy and proud of where I am today. And I am excited everyday to continue to learn more about myself and continue on my self-love journey!
I hope the tips in this article help you on your self-love journey and helps you understand the importance of loving yourself flaws and all.
1. Learn to love yourself first
I will be the first to admit that I did not always love myself. Looking at myself in the mirror or failing at anything made me my own worst critic. AND I am pretty sure that everyone is their own worst critic but with me it hit home because growing up I never knew anything but tough love. So I was always the toughest on myself.
But, I am happy to report that I am learning to love myself every day more and more. I have realized that I can have whatever life I want for myself and my family as long as I take care of my mental, physical and emotional health. I am still working on the physical part though, it’s a lifestyle right ?😅💪
With that said, don’t be to hard on yourself give yourself some slack. Instead of concentrating on the things that you have not done consider writing a list of all things that you have accomplished. I am sure you will realize that you are a resilient women that has come a long way.
Another tip to try is to think of yourself as your own best friend, how would you respond to your best friend if she failed at something or talked badly about herself. I am sure you would encourage and try to lift her spirits by letting her know how amazing and beautiful she is. So treat yourself with the same regard and be kinder to yourself.
2. Self Aware
Being self-aware is so important to your mental health. I can’t remember all the times that I have said things before thinking and instantly regretted them. Being a teen mom and a young wife, came with the occasional stress induced emotional outbursts that may not have been handled as mature as possible. I blew up over the littlest things that bothered me but as I became more self-aware I learned to let the little thing be and just love what is.
Everyone is fighting an internal war that we know nothing about. So try not to sweat the small stuff and don’t fight battles that don’t matter. Save your energy for things that DO matter.
3. Manifestations/ Affirmations
Okay this is one is new skill that I am starting to get into. I think the reason why I love doing this is because it allows you to imagine what your goals are and believe it so much that you feel it in your core. At the very least it will motivate you and make you more positive for the future. It will also allow you to open your mind to any opportunities that may present themselves.
I believe 100% in the law of attraction, if you are positive and are open to new opportunities they will present themselves, all you have to is believe. Believe in yourself, your intentions, your goals and see them transpire in your mind and I promise good things will happen.
4. Read!
This TIP has literally changed my life! I have been subscribed with Audible for over one year now. I get one free book a month and they have thousands of audio books and podcasts to choose from.
My personal favorites are self-help books, I love listening to books that inspire and motivate me. Reading has really helped put things in perspective and has helped me be a better version of myself. I encourage you to read more, it will give you a fresh and different perspective on similar issues that you may be going through as well.
Want to learn more about audible? Click my affiliate link below to start your subscription.
Here is a list of some of my favorite books for your self-love journey, enjoy beauties.
- Girl, Wash Your Face: Stop Believing the Lies About Who You Are So You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be
- Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life
- You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life
- You Are a Badass at Making Money: Master the Mindset of Wealth
- The Universe Has Your Back: Transform Fear into Faith
- The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
- Think and Grow Rich
- Rich Dad Poor Dad: What the Rich Teach Their Kids About Money – That the Poor and Middle Class Do Not!
- Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One
- Unfu*k Yourself
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5. Eliminate Negativity
Eliminating negative and toxic people out of your life will also eliminate unnecessary stress. In order to stay focused and happy you need to surround yourself with people who encourage and motivate you to bring out the best in yourself. I know sometimes it can be easier said than done especially if the toxic people are your family or closest friends but you want people who will support you in your corner. Not people who tell you why something can’t be done and fill your life with their fears! So cut these people out of your life in order to make room for people who genuinely care about your success.
Eliminate what doesn’t help you progress towards your goals and ambitions.
6. Journaling – goals/ plans, habits, get organized
I only recently started journaling and I am obsessed! I have always had a planner to keep track of appointments and events. But figured I would try a journal where I can completely customize it. Make sure you follow me on Instagram where I share a few of my layouts and doodles for some inspiration.
I like to write my thoughts, goals, plans and ideas that I have. I also like to doodle quotes and mantras. If I am having a bad day I like to write a page full of things I am grateful for. If you have not jumped on this bandwagon I highly recommend it! You can always think about your goals and things you want to accomplish but without a plan are they really a goal? Take the time to plan the life that you want and WRITE down actionable items that you can accomplish everyday that helps you reach that goal.
7. Take care of your Financial Health
You can not take care of yourself if your finances are not in order. How can you enjoy anything when you are stressing over money and bills. I learned this the hard way I racked up a lot of bad credit card debt (credit cards that have a ridiculous APR) and student loan debt. But now I am in a place where I am paying off all my debt and am that much closer to financial freedom!
Check out my articles on which debts you should pay off first if you need a place to start.
8. Create an inspirational space/ work space
I love being creative and have always had all my craft supplies in boxes hiding in the closet. If I was feeling inspired I would have to take out all the boxes from the closet and use the floor as my work space. Such an oxymoron, I spent hours doing something that I loved but sitting on the floor for hours made me miserable. Now I have a designated work/craft room where I can feel inspired and motivated.
Note that it does not have to be an entire room. It can be a nook or corner in your home with a small desk, minimal storage options and decor. The main goal is to create a sanctuary where you can go at then end of a long day to unwind and relax.
9. Travel
The world is full of beautiful sights and cultures and I want to see it all! Traveling is such a good way to distance yourself from your busy lifestyle. Putting some distance between you and your real life really has a way of putting things in perspective. It has a way of making you feel grateful, blessed and just happy to be alive. My family and I love to go to a new place every year. It does not have to be somewhere expensive and far. Staycations or road trips are a great way to still distance yourself and take a break without breaking the bank.
10. Creativity
As a lover and advocate for creativity, this is my one of my favorite tips. Creativity does not have to be DIYs and crafts like it is for me. It can be any creative outlet as long as it helps you clear your mind. The point is finding more time to do things that bring you joy and keeps you in a positive mindset. As we grow older our creativity and imagination diminishes. Adulting sets in hard and we become responsible and accountable human beings that participate in the occasional happy hour.
But creativity and imagination is essential to everyone’s life. It opens up your mind to other possible solutions to a problem that you may be facing. It can also generate new ideas and goals. And for me personally I find absolute comfort in sitting down and using my creativity and imagination in my crafts. If you don’t have a hobby, I highly recommend you find one. A hobby that you can spend hours doing because you enjoy it. Pick one from this list or use your imagination and come up with something more suitable for you.
All in all, don’t over think everything and live to be happy. You only get one life and how you decide to live it is completely up to you and the choices you make. You can live a life of what ifs and excuses or you can make things happen. If I sat around and thought about my past and how rough I had it I would be missing out on the best parts of my journey now! So be grateful for another day and remember everyday is a new chance to start over.
There you have it beauties those are tips that have helped me on my journey. Hopefully you found value in these tips and can use some of these in your every day life. Let me know in the comments below some of your favorite self-love tips you practices.
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Be kinder to yourself,
